Today's Google "How To:" How To Fold A Towel Into Looking Like A Cat That Died Licking Its Own Balls

"How to fold a Towel Cat..."

Like anyone would immediately recognize the term "Towel Cat" without seeing a picture of a towel folded into something vaguely resembling a cat. "Oh! A Towel Cat! Of course! Before I came to this cocktail party, I made a Towel Something I Ran Over In My Car. By that I mean that when I threw a wet towel on the ground after drying off my balls when I got out of the shower, it kind of looked like something I ran over in my car."


"AND impress your guests."

"You know Rick, your place is incredible, your wife made a delicious roast, and it was a real treat to watch the game on your 77 inch flat screen... But what REALLY got me was the Towel Cat!"


"...often used by cruise lines and bed and breakfast motels to make your stay more memorable."

Bed and Breakfast MOTELS? Wait wait wait! That hybrid exists?! On my next trip, I could stay in a place where I have to live with people I don't know in their home AND there are pubic hairs and condom wrappers under and behind anything that would involve moving something if anyone were to thoroughly clean it?! I could get raped AND get the flu?!?!?! I could nail my secretary while smelling fresh pancakes being cooked for me just down the charmingly rickety flight of stairs? Where do I sign? Oh, what's that Bed And Breakfast Motel? You don't like to keep written records of guest transactions because so many people get raped and murdered here? Can you show me how to make a towel cat after I dry off my balls?