New Rule Guaranteed to Make Huge Difference

They've also admitted that Crash sucks.

Cut From The Same, Self-Involved Crop

Look at us! We're glowing!

Explore Me Further...

Not Waiting 'Til the Midnight Hour

Yesterday I took an evening nap that went much deeper than I meant it too. I felt very out of it when I woke up, unsure whether it was 8 pm or 8 am. I felt like I had fallen asleep and woken up in the future. Looking around, there seemed to be inventions I didn't understand. A backyard full of abandoned horseless carriages... Tiny white speakers that seemed designed to muffle sound rather than amplify it, and collect all the room's dust... If any of my friends were still alive, would they still be sharp enough to chide me and call me Rip? I was so confused, that I jerked off.

Dick Headlines Vol. 1

"An 83 year old, beloved actor who's been in tons of great movies, stayed faithful to his wife despite being a Hollywood sex symbol, and raised hundreds of millions of dollars for charity might have lung cancer huh? Better bust his balls about it!"

Here are some other tasteless headlines that could be applied to this really unfortunate news story. Please let me know if any of them turn up in the actual news media.

-"The Sting (Of Lung Cancer)"

-"The Color Of... Cancer"

-"Somebody Up There Doesn't Like Me"

-"The Towering... Case of Lung Cancer"

-"The Verdict... Is That You Have Cancer"

-"Cool Lung Luke"

I usually like to keep it atopical, but in the spirit of keeping it fresh...

That's right. The two women will talk about sex, politics, and being losers.

Heigl withdrew her name from the Emmy nominations, saying, "I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention. In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials."

In a related story, Bill Engvall has withdrew from the nominations, saying it wouldn't be fair to people who aren't stupid.


As sad as this is, let's face it: Sudan is a pretty good place to not survive a plane crash. LOL get it? There's lots of persecution and genocide there!