Today's Google "How To:" I Hope These Two Things Aren't Related

I've done neither. A good steak stands alone, and all mice must die.

As a side note, the kitchen in my apartment is nicknamed, "Mauschwitz."

A Recent Comix Set

Do You Like It Nasty?

If the answer's no, please don't watch this.

I Have Some Standup Shows Coming Up...

You don't have to come or anything. I'm just putting it out there...

Comix

Mon, 11/23 - 7:00

353 W 14th near 9th Ave

$10

Lucky Cheng's

12/2 - 10:30

24 1st Ave

The Creek

Calgary Whalers show

12/4 - 8:00

10-93 Jackson Ave, Long Island City

Parkside Lounge

We'reNicePeople!

12/8 - 7:30

317 E. Houston @ Attorney St.

Ochi's Lounge at Comix

12/12 - 7:30

353 W 14th near 9th Ave

Parkside Lounge

We'reNicePeople!

1/20 - 7:30

317 E. Houston @ Attorney St.

If My Nozzle Volume 23: If My Nozzle Was A Creamy Cone

GREAT new If My Nozzle courtesy of Dylan Gadino from Punchline Magazine. Happy Thanksgiving week everybody. Gobble gobble!

Romance Package Eh?

"I got a romance package for ya sweet-haht, but it won't be a sea breeze blowin in yeh face! How do ya like thet?!?!" 

That's my new blog character, Chet Mortensen. He has a funny Boston accent and loves dick jokes. Expect to hear more from him, the way I do inside my head at all times.

Success Is Only A Vague, Unidentified Yet Looming Mistake Away

This ad is oddly suggestive. Maybe even suggestive of being suggestive? I'm not quite sure what service is being promoted here, but I know one thing: no daughter of mine will be allowed to click on ads that appear on myspace. My daughter will party MY way - i.e. not at all. And she better not be a bitch about it.

If My Nozzle Volume 22: If My Nozzle Were Served In A Fancy Restaurant

Thanks to Andrew Ciesla for helping me kick off the fall with a great joke about replacing an object with my nozzle! Whether it came al dente would vary depending on the patron.

Ever Wonder What Heaven Looks Like?

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. I was behind the camera on this one, giving direction and t.p.m (through-pocket-masturbating).

Special thanks to Megan Neuringer and Mike Still for LAYING IT DOWN. 

*Note: If you were planning on Digging one of my entries, this would be the one.

If My Nozzle Volume 21: If My Nozzle Were Owned By Starbucks

There's a time and place for grasping at straws.