If My Nozzle Volume 31: If My Nozzle Were An Overpriced T.

"Did you get a new t-shirt, or are you just excited about my nozzle?"

Wedding invitations are SOOO formal.

I haven't been here much lately. I'm sorry. I HAVE been on Twitter.

The movers are finally making some progress with my full-scale Arc of the Covenant replica

This Was Fun

I was a guest on Comical Radio last week. I had a blast doing it, even though the "7 Minute Abs" guy was on before me and went long, eating into some of my time. No worries though. I got back at him by being twice as funny and interesting during the time I had, and not having abs.

Sometimes you can tell how bad a movie will be based on how hard the poster tries to give you a boner

Possible tagline: What do you do right after you give her that cream pie?

If My Nozzle Volume 30: If My Nozzle Were The Asian Secret To Strong, Lush Hair

My nozzle would be one of the many treasures of the Far East.

If My Nozzle Volume 29: If My Nozzle Were A Towel With Flowers On It

The impending deep tissue massage would play second fiddle – to my nozzle.