New Age Religion Goes Medieval

They didn't kill him because he had a sword though. They killed him because he wasn't famous.

The Vatican Once Again Proves That It's Not Behind The Times

As we all know, it takes Catholics a while to apologize. I just recently made peace with the girl I nick-named "Kelly the Belly" in fourth grade.

But this proves it: John Lennon is the new Galileo. I've been saying it for years.

In other news, Paul McCartney is still totally jealous that he'll never be the controversial Beatle. He couldn't ruffle a feather if there was a species of pheasant that had allergic reactions to crappy lyrics. All together now!

Can't Catch A Break? You Betcha!

That's not so bad.  I do a lot of things while turkeys are being slaughtered.  In fact, I write this blog at a turkey farm.  The clucking and the smell of blood help me focus.  So what if children watch it on T.V. and see something gruesome?  At least it's not a nipple!

The Writing On The Crazy Wall

Then he hung up the phone and stuck the barrel of a loaded gun in his mouth.

Smoothest of Criminals

The sheikh said he'd settle for $500 million or a jam session.

An Oldie But A Goodie

Remember when Danny DeVito got really drunk one night and then went on The View the next morning?  Well this is like that, but harder to watch.  

It's a clip from a short lived movie review show I did for fellow NYU student Alvin Liong's C3TV project earlier in my comedy career.  I tried to embed it, but it was so large that it consumed my entire blog.  It's not THAT inconvenient...

Watch closely for the part where I throw up in my mouth.  

He Could Survive Ball Cancer, But Not Being A Dick

Pains In The Ass In More Ways Than One

Then they asked if he plans on having a son, and if he'd consider sending him to Catholic School.

Artistic Differences

Then Daniel Craig snapped him half with his left pinky while eating a sandwich.

I Agree With Sarah Palin: Volume 1 of 1

She's stupid, but picking her as a running mate is REALLY stupid.