It Seems Like Years Since It's Been Here

If I've seemed less funny lately, it's because I've had less to gripe about.  I've attempted to condense the last few days in a way that would involve the least amount of writing on my part.

No words necessary.

I met Bill Murray.  The guy I wish I were as funny as was very nice to me.  It was awesome.

I have four jokes in the new issue of the magazine named after the two things I know the least about.  See if you can spot the joke I submitted as a lark thinking it was too crude to actually make the cut...

Naturally, the first one eclipses the second two, but this is MY blog...

Anyway, it's been a good few days, little darlin's.  Go treat yourselves to a drink.  Fanger somethin'.

Blame More Stuff On T.V. Why Don't Ya?

That's bullshit.  Ain't no T.V. in Alaska!

T.C.B.

New Video: "Julia Child In Casino Royale"

This is a short I just laid down with the help of some close friends. It explores the past of one of America's most beloved television chefs, who, it was recently revealed, acted as a field agent to the precursor of the CIA during the end of World War II.

Special thanks to Erich Carrle, David Smithyman, Alex Russek, and, in the words of The New York Times' Ben Brantley, "the excellent Damon Williams."

Enjoy.

A Pussy With Bad Taste

Tryin Hard Not To Smile Though I Feel Bad

When last we saw the chunkier of the two guys from Barenaked Ladies, he was expressing regret for being caught with his nostrils down in MiddleOfNowhere New York and posing for pictures with his adorable girlfriend.  Here we are months later, and the only thing that's changed is that he FINALLY took my advice and got her to start wearing outfits that match his own.  

Edgy, yet cute as a button...  If I had a million dollars - I'd roll each one of them up for you ma lady, as long as you dressed like me and touched my weiner.

Greedy, Hateful Man Who Smells Like Shit Endorses McCain

Somethin's tricklin' down...

McCain Now Gives A Crap About Alaskan Politicians' Ethics

And Sarah Palin said, "Who's that dude?"

The State of Corruption, Stupidity, Bitter Cold And A Show With Anne Heche In It

Unless you drop your soap. Then you're on your own.

Rhetorical Questions

Do the tissues in my trash can smell like semen?!?!

p.s. Treat your wardrobe like a rape kit, and pay for it yourself.