"This New Policy Would Make It Harder To Work With People We Refuse To Work With."

I'd Sling My Stick Over HER Shoulder! Am I Right Fellas?

This babe is without a home. I'm overcome with emotions, the primary one being wanting to do it. I'm not the most perceptive when it comes to sexual advances. Some men are adept at combing bars, coffee shops, book stores and libraries for girls who've recently been made to feel vulnerable. An iota's reduction of self esteem can mean the difference between exploring someone else's body and business as usual. But a beautiful woman faced with the possibility of living on the streets? That sounds about my speed.

The current economic climate calls for the adjustment of one's game. Fear of going home to an empty apartment (once a prominent aphrodisiac) has been replaced with fear of not having an apartment. Forget closing time. Think foreclosing time. "You don't have to go home, but you can't - Wait, you're homeless?! Wanna do it?!?!"

She might not know who she wants to take her home, but she does know it's cold outside.

This Will Cheer Him Up...

And to top it off, Morgan Freeman has refused to narrate his actions!

Ha Ha Ha! See?! That's funny! Ya HAVE to laugh about it... You'll thank me later. Cough.

In A Bid For International Forgiveness, Chris Brown Changes Last Name To Connery

"Lost At Sea"

This might seem like a strange place to plug things, but is it wrong to want the same fifteen people who read this blog to listen to my podcast (that's a link - you click on it!!!)?

Anyway, here's a taste of Babomya Episode 3 - Jen Statsky-Newton-John. This is a musical comment on the disappearance and reappearance of Olivia Newton-John's ex, Patrick McDermott. He was lost at sea several years ago, but is suspected of faking his death due to bad finances.

The song, "Lost At Sea" was performed by myself and Jen Statsky for the latest episode of Babomya. The lyrics were written by myself and Jake Smith (no link). The tune should be familiar. Enjoy.

Impressive To Everyone But Gene Simmons: Volume 1

Babomya Episode 2 - Sisterhood Of The Traveling Wilburys

After much delay I'm proud to announce the release of Babomya Episode 2 - Sisterhood Of The Traveling Wilburys. Highlights include:

- Brendan sings a duet by himself
- An unreleased Traveling Wilburys gem, courtesy of Sisterhood of the Traveling Wilburys
- Audio Porn

Subscribe for free instantly on itunes.

Get it on Babomya.com.

BaboMySpace.

I Shall Overcome

I fear I've fallen prey to a sad truth: I'm speechless - at least where wisecracks are concerned. I had a lot more to say during the election, when I was complaining and busting balls. And for that, I'm mildly embarrassed... But then again, whatever.

It's with determination that I tell you I plan to rise above this feeling of joyous satisfaction. A blogger is judged by what he can build, not what he can neglect in favor of watching T.V. and masturbating.

We're at the dawn of a new age of responsibility; a time that calls for sacrifice, discipline, cooperation and most of all, a willingness to give back. The night was dark, but the sun is rising. No, risen...

With each death comes new life. With each heartbreak comes the possibility of a new love. Around the corner from each moment of disappointment is a brisk morning walk home - a load or two lighter with the taste of tits on the tongue.

We live in an incredible time. A time of hope... A time of change. A time of great challenges, but also great optimism. A time where someone whose father just found out what ipods are can create a podcast to be enjoyed by tens of friends...

I intend to do my part. For me, that doesn't mean building houses, volunteering at a soup kitchen, jerking off any less or buying squiggly light bulbs. No, I plan to rise to the challenge in my own way. I plan to take off my shoes. I plan to loosen my belt. I plan to get comfortable; a little too comfortable...

The Internet Just Got A Little Nastier

I've been a little lazy about writing recently and for that, I apologize. One of the reasons is that I sometimes get a little sick of my own thoughts and the posts just stop comin'. Another reason is that I've been busy doing other stuff.

That brings us to Babomya, the hilarious comedy podcast I'm currently launching with my hilarious friend and fellow blogger, Jen Statsky. Babomya is a Traveling Wilburys-like coming together of two comedy styles with the intention of reaching people in a fresh, highly 21st century way. As for creative process, two people thinking about stuff in a dark room is always better than one. Hopefully laying these bad boys down each week with Ryan Adams/Robert Pollard-like prolificacy will rejuvenate my desire to write blog posts. Expect new episodes every Monday.

Highlights from Babomya Episode1, "A Babomya Christmas:"

-Jen changes her voicemail
-An appearance by Keane
-A song called "8 Pussies"
-A trip to the South Bronx

To subscribe to the podcast and download Episode 1, visit Babomya.com

Or get it straight at itunes.

Or become friends with it on MySpace.

Special thanks to Gracious for the website and Andrew Ciesla for the art work.

New Years Rockin Eve

And by "trash" they mean people from New Jersey.

Happy New Year.